AND she's back in Alabama! Wow that went by a bit too fast. I decided to come home and do school online for awhile to save up some cash and help my parents out, so I'm looking forward to what will happen. My internship is going to be great, I'm super pumped up for it.
Of course being home doesn't come without its struggles (for instance) what do you do when your car's radiator goes out? Luckily my dad has had a lot of experience with people who fix cars and fixes cars himself (woo, Dad saves the day again) so he is going to help me find a new engine. The radiator burnt everything inside. So that is that. But hey on to a better note, I am helping out a lot at home, while recovering and preparing for another surgery as my biopsy went well. Nothing was cancerous, and the mass inside my deidum (not sure how to pronounce it) is shrinking as I heal so I am thankful for that!! This is not the first biopsy I've had! I had a mole biopsy done in 2014 because they were worried about it being melanoma. It is better to be safe than sorry. I'm thankful for Doctors and Nurses.
Of course if you panic and think things in your head, it's easy to lose focus and become overwhelmed. I am healing more and I know my ulcers and having Crohns is difficult but I am taking care of myself better and realizing how much God really does love me.
Okay so anyway, I've been back in Bama and I've had fun exploring the woods outside, along with growing my garden and taking care of animals.
My neighbors have cows, and people around have different crops growing. Country life is cool, I appreciate it. It's crazy to be back after being away from home for so long. It's special here though. I love being with my family and friends.
;) Pics coming soon!
Wednesday, May 16, 2018
Food for thought
Today I am speaking out about depression, because this is something that literally causes your body physical, mental and emotional pain. It HURTS. Survivors of this horrible illness know hard each day can be. Bipolar Disorder, MDD (Maniac Depressive Disorder) and other illnesses are very real illnesses which cause symptoms that can be debilitating if you don't find the proper help for it. For those of you who are suffering with this, please know you aren't alone. You can FIGHT. :) And you can WIN. You are more than what you feel.
Often certain medications can make people feel undervalued, or experience painful symptoms worse from when they actually received the diagnosis. Though many medications have powerful affects, it's important to know which works best, and is right, for your body. Many natural therapy based aids can help so wonderfully. It does take a bit of research, but once you find out about the sources and resources you have, what are you waiting for?
DEPRESSION SUCKS. Okay. I'm not going to be one of those rosy posy, sugar coaters. I'm going to give you the blunt hard truth. IT'S HARD. But you can handle it. You have much more capabilities and strengths than you probably know.
Of course we all have moments of sadness and occasional grief...hurt is a part of life. A loved one dies, a divorce happens, someone gets hurt, goals and dreams are lost. These can cause incredible real pain too. But normally, after a period of grief, you can usually find ways to heal emotionally. That is what is incredible about our bodies...but with depression your brain chemistry doesn't allow you to feel healing. Your body chemistry doesn't allow you to feel normal.
That's why taking a stand to supoprt someone with this terrible awful delimma is something great you could do for them. Trust me, they will really appreciate it.
We need a world more full of random visits, phone calls, notes and letters, and genuine caring for another individual. Because when it's all said and done, that is a celestial life. God expects us to LIVE his higher laws. :) And when we do, we become who we need to be one good deed at a time. Let God work miracles in your life. Allow him to change you. Let Him comfort you, and heal your pains. I know for a fact that a loving God is waiting, and wanting to bless His children that ask for it. Pray!
Pray like you mean it and God will continue to supplement your life in ways you thought were not possible.
Keep on keepin on folks, life is a great ride and we need to enjoy every moment.
Have a great day, reach out to someone, and press on!!
Love,
L
Peace
Often certain medications can make people feel undervalued, or experience painful symptoms worse from when they actually received the diagnosis. Though many medications have powerful affects, it's important to know which works best, and is right, for your body. Many natural therapy based aids can help so wonderfully. It does take a bit of research, but once you find out about the sources and resources you have, what are you waiting for?
DEPRESSION SUCKS. Okay. I'm not going to be one of those rosy posy, sugar coaters. I'm going to give you the blunt hard truth. IT'S HARD. But you can handle it. You have much more capabilities and strengths than you probably know.
Of course we all have moments of sadness and occasional grief...hurt is a part of life. A loved one dies, a divorce happens, someone gets hurt, goals and dreams are lost. These can cause incredible real pain too. But normally, after a period of grief, you can usually find ways to heal emotionally. That is what is incredible about our bodies...but with depression your brain chemistry doesn't allow you to feel healing. Your body chemistry doesn't allow you to feel normal.
That's why taking a stand to supoprt someone with this terrible awful delimma is something great you could do for them. Trust me, they will really appreciate it.
We need a world more full of random visits, phone calls, notes and letters, and genuine caring for another individual. Because when it's all said and done, that is a celestial life. God expects us to LIVE his higher laws. :) And when we do, we become who we need to be one good deed at a time. Let God work miracles in your life. Allow him to change you. Let Him comfort you, and heal your pains. I know for a fact that a loving God is waiting, and wanting to bless His children that ask for it. Pray!
Pray like you mean it and God will continue to supplement your life in ways you thought were not possible.
Keep on keepin on folks, life is a great ride and we need to enjoy every moment.
Have a great day, reach out to someone, and press on!!
Love,
L
Peace
Friday, April 6, 2018
Dear Young Me
Dear younger me,
What I WISH I would have known as an 18 year old sweetheart filled with excitement, longing and questions.
You, are beautiful.
Everyone loves you just the way you are. You experience new emotions, new 'crushes' and this is something quite new as you embark from your high school life to begin college. Of course, (speaking to my younger self) you had people you crushed on and liked during high school, but never had a tangible relationship. You wished for one. Oh, how nice it would be to have a boy there to finally become your best friend, and hold your hand. You dreamed of a temple marriage and longed for it. You attended mutual and tried to be the best friend to others you could possibly be (even if, sometimes you were not. But that is another story.) You study, you run, you make time for your family. You attend seminary and enjoy seeing the early morning fog, despite how tired you might've felt.
Enjoy the little things.
It may seem silly, but enjoy every minute. Even the painful minutes, the joyful minutes, the minutes of spiritual learning and growth. You are divine. DO your best and God WILL do the rest. I promise.
Everything is okay. It IS working out and will work out, though it may seem like "IT'S REALLY NOT!!" You will be happy. :)
Relax and don't stress, if a boy breaks your heart, breathe, sigh, cry a few tears perhaps, then let it out. Wanna know why? Because there is something more exciting, fulfilling, and magical ahead. You just need to be patient, and not just 'endure' but find enjoyment to life. Discover a new hobby and use a new talent. Enjoy life as a daughter of God.
READ YOUR SCRIPTURES. EVERY DAY. Ask yourself, "What would Moroni do in this situation? How would Nephi respond? What would Jesus do? How can I become more like Christ, and my Book of Mormon Heroes?
WRITE it down. Keep a journal. Remember these experiences. You will not want to forget them. I love writing in my journal because it really becomes a great therapy.
I had an amazing experience when I first began college being 18, and it was my first official calling outside of young women's that I'd ever had. A ward missionary. I was full of excitement to help the elders and sisters in our ward while beaming from ear to ear. I was ready and so willing to enjoy each moment as I prepared for the mission I longed to serve. Two amazing sister missionaries really stepped up to the plate and help me fulfill my ward missionary calling, Sister Harris and Sister Pratt. I am so so thankful for them! You have no idea. It was incredible the time I had with them and the experiences we had. I was reading the Book of Mormon, cover to cover for another time and realized the reality of these Book of Mormon prophets. I could see Nephi and Moroni helping us find people, and the scriptures become REAL.
I realized the Reality of the Holy Ghost. I imagined him being my friend. I talked to him and he comforted me. I told him about this boy that had broken my heart during my senior year of highschool and I had a truly incredible spiritual experience. I really had a beautiful experience too sacred to share, that I will forever cherish in my heart.
I prayed to Heavenly Father to thank Him for this experience and I remember the Holy Ghost loudly telling me, as if he were standing right next to me. "Serve a mission."
WOW. What a voice that was powerful and pierced my heart to the very core. I knew what I had to do from that moment on. I met with my bishop the NEXT DAY. I felt a tinge of joy at that moment. He comforted me, like a real friend. "You will be a great missionary!" My relationship with him has really led me to do things in my life I believed I could not do. Seek the comforter because the promise is real.
I cancelled my plans to attend University of Alabama (Yeah. Lauren Middleton giving up her 'dream college') as I had been attending Wallace State CC and put in my mission papers. WHAT? I had not planned on this at all.
In fact, it was so far from my plans I had a 180 degree turn around moment. I wanted to be married so badly, that I figured marriage and finding my spouse was my mission because my patriarchal blessing did not mention serving a mission.
To all you boys, kudos for you as it is expected to serve a mission. You know what God wants you to do.
Being a girl on the other hand isn't so easy. I don't care who you are. The age change is RECENT and every girl must decide for herself if she really knows the Lord needs her to serve a mission or not. For her, it is a personal CHOICE. And let me tell you, it isn't easy to hear the spirit tell you what you do not want to hear. Instead of hearing "Yes, you will find your eternal companion and marry him in a few months, I heard...You will serve a mission and you will love it, it will be one of the most enriching experiences of your life." I wanted to show how much I was willing to participate in God's plan.
I was dating a boy that had my heart at the time, and breaking up with him seemed so impossible. I prayed fervently. Asking HF how I could do this, and how I could go on a mission when I was at a moment of marriage that was so close, but about a few weeks before my mission call came, the Lord heard my prayer and answered it for me, as my boyfriend (at the time) had the courage to follow a prompting and break up with me. What a relief! The spirit had been telling me I was going to end it, but I didn't know how. Luckily this guy knew how to follow the spirit. It was hard, but he was a blessing in my life and I am thankful for the friendship we had.
"BUT GOD...THAT IS NOT WHAT I HAD IN MIND FOR MY LIFE..." Call me nilly willy silly, but upon hearing the prompting physically, I cried. Tears of motivation, a little bit of sadness, and acceptance. Why? I asked. But afterwords and two days of heartache, I woke up one morning with an incredible peace and excitement that was beyond words. It was the calmest peace...I felt the love of God. God knew me. God loved me. Christ was very near. I was so excited for this adventure that lay ahead.
I cannot begin to tell you how much a mission has changed me forever. It was a blessing I cannot even imagine living without. I know it isn't the same for everyone, but my loving Heavenly Father knew I absolutely needed to serve a mission because it would change my spirit, literally. I have a firm testimony that God lives and will give you the absolute best in your life, even when you feel like you don't deserve it. Think of the scripture in the new testament where Christ talks about parents giving gifts to their children, and How Heavenly Father, being perfect, will he not give good gifts unto them that ask him?
Also in the Book of Mormon it is true that Mormon testifies of seeking Christ and how He will provide every good gift. EVERY GOOD GIFT. Think about what that means. :) Eternal happiness. He wants to make you whole, and he will provide a way for you to keep the commandments. 1 Nephi 3:7, and hey, creating a harmonious family and marriage is a commandment. He will provide the way. I testify. You may have trials, and you may go through the rocks and down a few bends, but as you allow the Lord to take you by the hand and lead you little by little, one day at a time, with the scriptures, your patriarchal blessing, callings, and doing good, you will one day be able to stand on top of the mountain with Christ and look back on the incredible beautiful journey you had together. You will see footsteps in the sand and know that Christ carried you many times.
He loves you and His love is so real. You may not think anyone cares, or that the world is full of blind people that don't notice you, but God notices you, and he places people into your life that notice you as well. You will have hard times and struggles, but the struggle up the tallest mountain is worth the fight.
You may climb the Timp, or the Y mountain, or you may find yourself climbing Everest, Cape of Good Hope, or Mt Kilamanjaro. The higher the climb, the harder the climb, but God is your Mountaineer!!! He will be with you every step, so go ahead and climb your Everest. The view will be incredible and the journey will change you forever. <3 God is amazing.
Dear younger me, lastly, I would say, and I want to say this to every young girl and woman facing the struggle of feeling her worth and recognizing it...God has a special place in His heart for His daughters.
He loves His sons dearly, but we women sometimes don't realize the magnitude of care our Heavenly Father has for us as a Daughter of God.
You are divine. You have beauty and purpose, and you are a miracle destined to do great things. Let the holy ghost, Our Savior and our Heavenly Father become your best friends. Pray to HF everyday and ask that the spirit will enlighten your mind and soften your heart. He so will.
The battle isn't over. You're going to have challenges climbing your mountain, but have faith in every single footstep. Your pioneer ancestors crossed the plains in brutal conditions to find and build Zion. Carry on their legacy through your personal faith, and dedication to creating Zion in your homes, and in your hearts. Become of one mind, and of one heart. :) I really know the gospel is true. My life is so much happier and blessed because of it and no one can tell me otherwise.
There is a beautiful pasture which glows form heav'n above
A place where hearts and families find love
We may not see them standing nearby, our loved ones, who have gone
homeward to fly. They watch us, help us, and stand by us each day,
Knowing our Savior will lovingly provide the way.
So if you're feeling lost, helpless, or hopeless...it's true
Christ will come swiftly to your rescue, but realize this
my dear friend, angels and concourses from your Father are sent
He loves you this much, believe me, it's true,
There isn't a thing he would not do...
When you realize how much greatly you're loved
a tear will be shed
and light will glisten beautifully,
from your heavenly home above. <3
I love poetry and feeling like I should write out my loving feelings on families and the plan of salvation, I decided to.
I hope you all press forward and realize how wonderful you really are! <3 God has high hopes for each of you. Don't let him down. You are more than you think.
Peace,
Your sister in Christ,
Lauren
What I WISH I would have known as an 18 year old sweetheart filled with excitement, longing and questions.
You, are beautiful.
Everyone loves you just the way you are. You experience new emotions, new 'crushes' and this is something quite new as you embark from your high school life to begin college. Of course, (speaking to my younger self) you had people you crushed on and liked during high school, but never had a tangible relationship. You wished for one. Oh, how nice it would be to have a boy there to finally become your best friend, and hold your hand. You dreamed of a temple marriage and longed for it. You attended mutual and tried to be the best friend to others you could possibly be (even if, sometimes you were not. But that is another story.) You study, you run, you make time for your family. You attend seminary and enjoy seeing the early morning fog, despite how tired you might've felt.
Enjoy the little things.
It may seem silly, but enjoy every minute. Even the painful minutes, the joyful minutes, the minutes of spiritual learning and growth. You are divine. DO your best and God WILL do the rest. I promise.
Everything is okay. It IS working out and will work out, though it may seem like "IT'S REALLY NOT!!" You will be happy. :)
Relax and don't stress, if a boy breaks your heart, breathe, sigh, cry a few tears perhaps, then let it out. Wanna know why? Because there is something more exciting, fulfilling, and magical ahead. You just need to be patient, and not just 'endure' but find enjoyment to life. Discover a new hobby and use a new talent. Enjoy life as a daughter of God.
READ YOUR SCRIPTURES. EVERY DAY. Ask yourself, "What would Moroni do in this situation? How would Nephi respond? What would Jesus do? How can I become more like Christ, and my Book of Mormon Heroes?
WRITE it down. Keep a journal. Remember these experiences. You will not want to forget them. I love writing in my journal because it really becomes a great therapy.
I had an amazing experience when I first began college being 18, and it was my first official calling outside of young women's that I'd ever had. A ward missionary. I was full of excitement to help the elders and sisters in our ward while beaming from ear to ear. I was ready and so willing to enjoy each moment as I prepared for the mission I longed to serve. Two amazing sister missionaries really stepped up to the plate and help me fulfill my ward missionary calling, Sister Harris and Sister Pratt. I am so so thankful for them! You have no idea. It was incredible the time I had with them and the experiences we had. I was reading the Book of Mormon, cover to cover for another time and realized the reality of these Book of Mormon prophets. I could see Nephi and Moroni helping us find people, and the scriptures become REAL.
I realized the Reality of the Holy Ghost. I imagined him being my friend. I talked to him and he comforted me. I told him about this boy that had broken my heart during my senior year of highschool and I had a truly incredible spiritual experience. I really had a beautiful experience too sacred to share, that I will forever cherish in my heart.
I prayed to Heavenly Father to thank Him for this experience and I remember the Holy Ghost loudly telling me, as if he were standing right next to me. "Serve a mission."
WOW. What a voice that was powerful and pierced my heart to the very core. I knew what I had to do from that moment on. I met with my bishop the NEXT DAY. I felt a tinge of joy at that moment. He comforted me, like a real friend. "You will be a great missionary!" My relationship with him has really led me to do things in my life I believed I could not do. Seek the comforter because the promise is real.
I cancelled my plans to attend University of Alabama (Yeah. Lauren Middleton giving up her 'dream college') as I had been attending Wallace State CC and put in my mission papers. WHAT? I had not planned on this at all.
In fact, it was so far from my plans I had a 180 degree turn around moment. I wanted to be married so badly, that I figured marriage and finding my spouse was my mission because my patriarchal blessing did not mention serving a mission.
To all you boys, kudos for you as it is expected to serve a mission. You know what God wants you to do.
Being a girl on the other hand isn't so easy. I don't care who you are. The age change is RECENT and every girl must decide for herself if she really knows the Lord needs her to serve a mission or not. For her, it is a personal CHOICE. And let me tell you, it isn't easy to hear the spirit tell you what you do not want to hear. Instead of hearing "Yes, you will find your eternal companion and marry him in a few months, I heard...You will serve a mission and you will love it, it will be one of the most enriching experiences of your life." I wanted to show how much I was willing to participate in God's plan.
I was dating a boy that had my heart at the time, and breaking up with him seemed so impossible. I prayed fervently. Asking HF how I could do this, and how I could go on a mission when I was at a moment of marriage that was so close, but about a few weeks before my mission call came, the Lord heard my prayer and answered it for me, as my boyfriend (at the time) had the courage to follow a prompting and break up with me. What a relief! The spirit had been telling me I was going to end it, but I didn't know how. Luckily this guy knew how to follow the spirit. It was hard, but he was a blessing in my life and I am thankful for the friendship we had.
"BUT GOD...THAT IS NOT WHAT I HAD IN MIND FOR MY LIFE..." Call me nilly willy silly, but upon hearing the prompting physically, I cried. Tears of motivation, a little bit of sadness, and acceptance. Why? I asked. But afterwords and two days of heartache, I woke up one morning with an incredible peace and excitement that was beyond words. It was the calmest peace...I felt the love of God. God knew me. God loved me. Christ was very near. I was so excited for this adventure that lay ahead.
I cannot begin to tell you how much a mission has changed me forever. It was a blessing I cannot even imagine living without. I know it isn't the same for everyone, but my loving Heavenly Father knew I absolutely needed to serve a mission because it would change my spirit, literally. I have a firm testimony that God lives and will give you the absolute best in your life, even when you feel like you don't deserve it. Think of the scripture in the new testament where Christ talks about parents giving gifts to their children, and How Heavenly Father, being perfect, will he not give good gifts unto them that ask him?
Also in the Book of Mormon it is true that Mormon testifies of seeking Christ and how He will provide every good gift. EVERY GOOD GIFT. Think about what that means. :) Eternal happiness. He wants to make you whole, and he will provide a way for you to keep the commandments. 1 Nephi 3:7, and hey, creating a harmonious family and marriage is a commandment. He will provide the way. I testify. You may have trials, and you may go through the rocks and down a few bends, but as you allow the Lord to take you by the hand and lead you little by little, one day at a time, with the scriptures, your patriarchal blessing, callings, and doing good, you will one day be able to stand on top of the mountain with Christ and look back on the incredible beautiful journey you had together. You will see footsteps in the sand and know that Christ carried you many times.
He loves you and His love is so real. You may not think anyone cares, or that the world is full of blind people that don't notice you, but God notices you, and he places people into your life that notice you as well. You will have hard times and struggles, but the struggle up the tallest mountain is worth the fight.
You may climb the Timp, or the Y mountain, or you may find yourself climbing Everest, Cape of Good Hope, or Mt Kilamanjaro. The higher the climb, the harder the climb, but God is your Mountaineer!!! He will be with you every step, so go ahead and climb your Everest. The view will be incredible and the journey will change you forever. <3 God is amazing.
Dear younger me, lastly, I would say, and I want to say this to every young girl and woman facing the struggle of feeling her worth and recognizing it...God has a special place in His heart for His daughters.
He loves His sons dearly, but we women sometimes don't realize the magnitude of care our Heavenly Father has for us as a Daughter of God.
You are divine. You have beauty and purpose, and you are a miracle destined to do great things. Let the holy ghost, Our Savior and our Heavenly Father become your best friends. Pray to HF everyday and ask that the spirit will enlighten your mind and soften your heart. He so will.
The battle isn't over. You're going to have challenges climbing your mountain, but have faith in every single footstep. Your pioneer ancestors crossed the plains in brutal conditions to find and build Zion. Carry on their legacy through your personal faith, and dedication to creating Zion in your homes, and in your hearts. Become of one mind, and of one heart. :) I really know the gospel is true. My life is so much happier and blessed because of it and no one can tell me otherwise.
There is a beautiful pasture which glows form heav'n above
A place where hearts and families find love
We may not see them standing nearby, our loved ones, who have gone
homeward to fly. They watch us, help us, and stand by us each day,
Knowing our Savior will lovingly provide the way.
So if you're feeling lost, helpless, or hopeless...it's true
Christ will come swiftly to your rescue, but realize this
my dear friend, angels and concourses from your Father are sent
He loves you this much, believe me, it's true,
There isn't a thing he would not do...
When you realize how much greatly you're loved
a tear will be shed
and light will glisten beautifully,
from your heavenly home above. <3
I love poetry and feeling like I should write out my loving feelings on families and the plan of salvation, I decided to.
I hope you all press forward and realize how wonderful you really are! <3 God has high hopes for each of you. Don't let him down. You are more than you think.
Peace,
Your sister in Christ,
Lauren
Sunday, March 25, 2018
Journeyings and Faith
Dear Reader,
Once there was a man who was walking a great distance. He stopped, looked behind him and realized how far he'd traveled. He looked ahead to see how much farther he had to go, and all the while, a friend stood by his side and asked him which seemed the farthest from his viewpoint.
Once there was a man who was walking a great distance. He stopped, looked behind him and realized how far he'd traveled. He looked ahead to see how much farther he had to go, and all the while, a friend stood by his side and asked him which seemed the farthest from his viewpoint.
"Well, they both look like the same distance to me! It just seems that the journey ahead is quite long compared to what is behind me." He chuckled, with a wry smile.
"When you discover part of the journey is also the contemplation, joyful moments, moments of pause and despair, planning, and arriving at your destination, and being at your destination, you will realize it is not quite as long after all."
"So...you are saying..?"
"I'm saying, don't focus on, particularly, the journey and the length, but rather focus on the small accomplishments in between. Focus on why you are making the journey, and when you figure that out, you will realize the grandeur of each moment."
Life is too short, to not enjoy EVERY part!! You are probably thinking, so what is this girl trying to tell me...? Am I supposed to enjoy heartbreak? Well actually, yes. If you think about it, heartache can be quite enjoyable. You realize your vulnerabilities, your prestige, worth, and the importance of knowing pain so you'll recognize true joy when you are blessed. I am feeling something right now. Because God endowed me with a gift. Something that I will forever have. A gift of empathy, love, joy, and many more emotions that color our lives.
Finding joy during pain can mostly be often difficult, but Christ has said multiple times, "Fear not! I have overcome the world. Let not your heart be troubled. Have faith. Be believing. Perfect love dissapates fear and we need to know that Christ is on our side, right now. He is cheering for us, and leading us to our victory march! We only need to trust Him and place our burdens at His feet. We need to realize our great worth, and potential as Sons and Daughters of God. Of course, when life doesn't go the way you hoped, or planned, you can know that as part of the process you are learning and that minor discomforts are necessary as we go through the human experience.
Which I, personally, am so thankful for. I don't really have the words to completely say how I feel, but I want to enjoy life to the fullest and follow the spirit as best I can. After all, it's only the best we can do.
God and Christ pick up the pieces. And they do it, quite well. So really you don't have anything to fear, and be afraid of. As you await the beautiful tapestry of your life, know that you are free to choose your own path! Nothing is set in stone :) our lives are really open ended books, with ability to change the outcome for the better. So let Heavenly Father help you! He knows what story of your life will be best. Trust the master author!
I seriously am super thankful for all I have been so blessed with. Life is beautiful folks. I hope you have a seriously great Sunday evening and continue to enjoy the everyday moments! Take time and thank your Father in Heaven. Keep a gratitude journal. Write your thoughts and feelings out and I promise the Lord will show you the puzzle pieces of your life. He has totally done that for me. After tears being shed, prayers and pondering, wondering which direciton He wants me to take in my life, I got an answer loud and clear, and I am sticking to it. NEVER. GIVE. UP. Follow your heart, trust the feelings God has given you, and work towards your goals!! It's so amazing. Heavenly Father lets us CHOOSE our destiny.
"Choose you this day whom ye will serve, but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord." Joshua 1:5
"Choose your love, love your choice." :)
"Wherefore, man are free to choose the way of eternal life, or death"
I could list many scriptures that share this principle, but the Lord has shown me great tender mercies and it really hit me as I was studying earlier, that everyone has their own personal agency, and because of this great gift, you can be the captain of your own ship, the painter of your life's portrait, and the author of your story...you only need to Trust the one who is all knowing, and He will lead you to life and happiness beyond what you could ever imagine. The gospel is literally amazing.
Christ is so kind. He is gentle, loving and will never abandon us during trials. Heavenly Father is merciful and promises us aid, as we rely on Him and Christ.
We have the scriptures, our families, friends, church leaders, and so many blessings that allow us to see the bigger picture. The Holy Ghost can be our guide, and friend! :)
So there you have it. Just do your best and allow God to fill up the rest.
Have a great day, love you all <3
Lauren
Saturday, February 24, 2018
GNO, Daughters of God, and Value
Dear everyone,
I had a wonderful GNO yesterday that was quite frankly much needed. Before I left, my roomies and I partly watched Evan Almighty. Which ended up being SO FUNNY and let me tell you I haven't ever watched it until last night. Purely awesome. Then I was able to go to the Cocoa Bean just before going to The Cookie Place to get my sugar fix for a Friday night evening in Rexburg. Which ended up being worth it and pretty wonderful! I also got a few selfies. Woot woot!
So yeah! The week has gone by so extremely fast and it's surreal. You know you can't know what up feels like until you've been down. Just saying. Life is definitely a roller coaster and you sure as heck never know what is coming.
So yeah! The week has gone by so extremely fast and it's surreal. You know you can't know what up feels like until you've been down. Just saying. Life is definitely a roller coaster and you sure as heck never know what is coming.
But I will be honest with you, there was a point in my teenage years where I was extremely uncomfortable with taking 'selfies' when I was in 8th and 9th grade due to my horrible acne, my nose, even my eyebrows made me feel so self aware that I truly believed I was someone that needed a real makeover, or just to be born as someone that was 'beautiful'. I went to classes thinking how 'I wanted to be like the prettier girls in my school who just had everything together.' They had boyfriends, everyone seemed excited to be around them, and they just fit in to the square peg whereas I felt like I was a round circle. I felt happy despite these small wishes. I didn't worry about it too much. I was happy with the friends I had, the schoolwork I was assigned, and the clothes I dressed in.
Lauren always wore a t-shirt and jeans, ponytail up, and the watch around her wrist like nobody's business.
It was in 9th grade when I started longing for a boyfriend, and wondered what caused me to be guy repellent. "Dear Heavenly Father, Uhm all I want is a boy that could be my best friend and tell me how cute I am, even though I feel like I'm not. I know I'm too young to get married right now, but just let me have some attractive guy friends until I go on my mission. We wouldn't even date until I turn 16, but please just let me find a guy already." I kid you not, those were seriously my prayers. WOW. Can you imagine what HF is thinking as I pray? Of course He loves and listens, but the me now is thinking he's probably chuckling, "Oh Lauren."
Lauren always wore a t-shirt and jeans, ponytail up, and the watch around her wrist like nobody's business.
It was in 9th grade when I started longing for a boyfriend, and wondered what caused me to be guy repellent. "Dear Heavenly Father, Uhm all I want is a boy that could be my best friend and tell me how cute I am, even though I feel like I'm not. I know I'm too young to get married right now, but just let me have some attractive guy friends until I go on my mission. We wouldn't even date until I turn 16, but please just let me find a guy already." I kid you not, those were seriously my prayers. WOW. Can you imagine what HF is thinking as I pray? Of course He loves and listens, but the me now is thinking he's probably chuckling, "Oh Lauren."
I participated in a lot of extra activities in high school but there were some days where I just felt completely isolated, alone and low. I loved my best friends, Katelyn Toney, Rachel Marcum and other friends who kept me sane during this time. (They still do!!! Love them to pieces <3) but this self comparison and having crushes that I couldn't even talk to was starting to make me want to be a better person. I finally decided to change at the start of 10th grade and I began enjoying my life more, without trying to worry so much about boys.
Young Women's was my rock as I participated in church activities, and all of my leaders helped me to recognize that I really was beautiful, talented and amazing!
You know, it is really okay those things. (Shocker.) You are a miracle! A living miracle. You were created inside your mother's womb and started out about the size of less then a pin point, and from there, grew and grew until you are who you are today. You continue to change. Your body is working hard day and night, keeping you alive by the air you breath, and the blood you pump. Think about it. It's truly amazing. You're a miracle!
Young Women's was my rock as I participated in church activities, and all of my leaders helped me to recognize that I really was beautiful, talented and amazing!
You know, it is really okay those things. (Shocker.) You are a miracle! A living miracle. You were created inside your mother's womb and started out about the size of less then a pin point, and from there, grew and grew until you are who you are today. You continue to change. Your body is working hard day and night, keeping you alive by the air you breath, and the blood you pump. Think about it. It's truly amazing. You're a miracle!
Anyway, as I continued in school and had bouts of depression and feeling alone, the one thing that always stuck with me is knowing Christ and my Heavenly Father, because they saw me for who I really was. I listened to LDS EFY songs in the car on the way home from school. I read my scriptures more and more, and worked on personal progress to the point where it became a joy to have time set aside for personal spiritual growth.
I was focused. I also focused on my dream of becoming a marine biologist and had my life all planned out about how I would work, get married, have a family and dedicate my life to the gospel. I decided I would serve a mission, but then afterwards I would marry a cute spiritual RM and we would travel together, and I would swim with dolphins. Hey now!! Don't judge!! A 14 year old girl's dreams are fierce, and she will not give up. Don't be a dream crusher, ever.
I was focused. I also focused on my dream of becoming a marine biologist and had my life all planned out about how I would work, get married, have a family and dedicate my life to the gospel. I decided I would serve a mission, but then afterwards I would marry a cute spiritual RM and we would travel together, and I would swim with dolphins. Hey now!! Don't judge!! A 14 year old girl's dreams are fierce, and she will not give up. Don't be a dream crusher, ever.
Of course, trials came and I got beat down because being 15 years old is NOT easy, I don't care how rosy someone may have had it, no one gets through adolescense that easy. I still was heavily involved in church and dating lots of people so we would go on dates and I'd try to see if I could find a guy that I thought was nice so I could make him my "missionary" to write while he served a missionary. That's the real goal I had, guys!! XD.
Well, I found one, a friend boy, because I didn't believe in having boyfriends. (Yes, this was my 16 year old brain) Long story short we became best of friends and he helped me SO much my senior year of high school. I thanked God for him and his friendship and support because we cared about each other and always discussed our plans to follow the gospel and the goals and hopes we had for the future. I will never forget him. He is married now and has an adorable little girl, but I'm so thankful we could get to know each other and become such great friends.
I knew he would make a wonderful husband for his wife someday, even though I got the feeling we wouldn't marry. But hey!! Everyone you meet has a purpose in your life, so the key is to take what you've learned from them and let it add to your life.
When he left for his mission, I got another boyfriend soon after that. Honestly, one of the best boyfriends I ever had because he genuinely cared about my well being and would pick me up driving an hour to my home in Cullman, to take me to the Huntsville Stake Center every Thursday for institute while I was attending my first year of college and he never missed a week!! His sister was one of my best friends, and along with his younger brother, and we got pretty close. Matt Garbett ended up being my first kiss. And he knows it. I thought of marrying him... but as I struggled with my surgery later that semester, along with feeling insecure and a bit misled we ended the relationship and I was really sad. I was pretty devastated because each day hurt, but I knew I was preparing to serve a mission and wanted to be distraction free.
We remained good friends and I dated two other boys before leaving to SoCal. (Ben and Ammon) and I will forever be thankful for those dating experiences too! Another one of my best friends (Robin Jensen) and I had gotten close because we did BYUI online classes together through pathway to get BYU Idaho credit for taking religion classes. I was still going to Wallace State Community, but I felt like I should apply for other colleges after my mission, and thus I applied to University of Utah (got accepted), Dixie State, Snow College, and Utah State. I wasn't sure where the Lord wanted me to go so I prayed about it. Long story short, I served as a ward missionary in Cullman then shortly headed out on my mission to Southern California. Amazing amazing experience. If you're thinking about serving a mission? DO IT. You will never regret that decision. Then I felt like BYU IDAHO was my answer, while on my mission (crazy how that works). So here I am. :) And I love it!!
Well, I found one, a friend boy, because I didn't believe in having boyfriends. (Yes, this was my 16 year old brain) Long story short we became best of friends and he helped me SO much my senior year of high school. I thanked God for him and his friendship and support because we cared about each other and always discussed our plans to follow the gospel and the goals and hopes we had for the future. I will never forget him. He is married now and has an adorable little girl, but I'm so thankful we could get to know each other and become such great friends.
I knew he would make a wonderful husband for his wife someday, even though I got the feeling we wouldn't marry. But hey!! Everyone you meet has a purpose in your life, so the key is to take what you've learned from them and let it add to your life.
When he left for his mission, I got another boyfriend soon after that. Honestly, one of the best boyfriends I ever had because he genuinely cared about my well being and would pick me up driving an hour to my home in Cullman, to take me to the Huntsville Stake Center every Thursday for institute while I was attending my first year of college and he never missed a week!! His sister was one of my best friends, and along with his younger brother, and we got pretty close. Matt Garbett ended up being my first kiss. And he knows it. I thought of marrying him... but as I struggled with my surgery later that semester, along with feeling insecure and a bit misled we ended the relationship and I was really sad. I was pretty devastated because each day hurt, but I knew I was preparing to serve a mission and wanted to be distraction free.
We remained good friends and I dated two other boys before leaving to SoCal. (Ben and Ammon) and I will forever be thankful for those dating experiences too! Another one of my best friends (Robin Jensen) and I had gotten close because we did BYUI online classes together through pathway to get BYU Idaho credit for taking religion classes. I was still going to Wallace State Community, but I felt like I should apply for other colleges after my mission, and thus I applied to University of Utah (got accepted), Dixie State, Snow College, and Utah State. I wasn't sure where the Lord wanted me to go so I prayed about it. Long story short, I served as a ward missionary in Cullman then shortly headed out on my mission to Southern California. Amazing amazing experience. If you're thinking about serving a mission? DO IT. You will never regret that decision. Then I felt like BYU IDAHO was my answer, while on my mission (crazy how that works). So here I am. :) And I love it!!
WHEN YOU FEEL HAPPY, JUST SING
When you feel content, ponder
When you feel crazy, Laugh Out Loud,
When you feel sad, pray and cry at the same time, it feels amazing
When you feel energetic, RUN, just run
But above all, when you feel like you need to serve or reach out to someone, do it
I know I'm not the most profound or amazing poet in the universe, but contributing to something awesome always feels nice. It feels good. No better than good, it feels AMAZING. So you do you, and just be yourself! Don't let naysayers make you feel any other way because you know, they can't take your personality, or your feelings away from you. You belong to you.
As I've been getting to know so many people, it has come across my mind that so many women and girls (especially young adult ones like I) struggle with seeing themselves as BEAUTIFUL daughters of God. They compare themselves to someone else who may be going through a different trial (for instance, being pencil stick skinny, not being not the ideal weight you want to be, or even being overweight) and wanting to change themselves. All I know that being healthy is more important than being someone you are not. Don't try to change yourself. Of course you should strive to be your best self and take care of yourself (wear makeup, wear decent clothing, bathe, etc) because as you develop who you are, people will see your beauty. Even...if for the time being you cannot see it in yourself.
Pray to know yourself. Pray to feel your worth as a Daughter of God, and I promise you, He will tell you how beautiful you really are, inside and out, no matter what you have done. Listen to the spirit and follow the promptings because I know our Heavenly Father wants what is best for you, right now, this very moment. Don't fall short.
"Life is too beautiful to take it for granted." So don't. When you are doubting your beauty, remember that as a Daughter of God, you are of a royal birthright. A princess in training to be a queen!! One day, you will gain an eternal crown of glory as you live worthy of those promised blessings and remember your Father, and His Son. No matter what the adversary may try to throw at you, don't let him thwart your eternal destiny. Look in the mirror and remind yourself who you are.
I love the story of the ugly duckling as told by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf because it teaches us the pure message of being majestic swans, even when we feel like 'ugly ducklings' and not worth it to try and make another day. Feeling anxious about relationships, or feeling depressed and overwhelmed about stresses in life, is something HF doesn't want us to suffer through. He will carry you. He will pick you up and place you upon His shoulders. You are precious to Him and precious in His sight. Lay your burdens down and let Him know how you are feeling. I testify to you that the power of Christ's atonement is real and the healing power which comes through grace and mercy, can mend your wounded heart, mind and soul. Trust Jesus. Don't doubt, but be believing! I love you all. Each and every one of you is a beautiful Son or Daughter of God. Please believe in yourselves and allow the Master to heal you through His great infinite love.
I love the story of the ugly duckling as told by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf because it teaches us the pure message of being majestic swans, even when we feel like 'ugly ducklings' and not worth it to try and make another day. Feeling anxious about relationships, or feeling depressed and overwhelmed about stresses in life, is something HF doesn't want us to suffer through. He will carry you. He will pick you up and place you upon His shoulders. You are precious to Him and precious in His sight. Lay your burdens down and let Him know how you are feeling. I testify to you that the power of Christ's atonement is real and the healing power which comes through grace and mercy, can mend your wounded heart, mind and soul. Trust Jesus. Don't doubt, but be believing! I love you all. Each and every one of you is a beautiful Son or Daughter of God. Please believe in yourselves and allow the Master to heal you through His great infinite love.
Also, don't be afraid to sing something positive at the top of your lungs. We got this!
Much love as always,
Lauren
Feeling like a Stud
Hi all,
First off, don't judge me because I have not updated my blog in a LONG time. (Yeah. I'm one of those bloggers that you see every now and then, that chooses to pop up at random.) But hey, life has been going great and I've been up to so much lately with my studies! It's so cool and interesting, each day for me is like an awesome adventure.
I am still attending college at Brigham Young University Idaho as a web design major, living at cottonwood apartments near the edge of campus, and enjoying the the college life taking each day as it comes. Who said college couldn't be all it is cracked up to be? I have amazing roommates, a great ward, the coolest Bishop ever, (the Rexburg temple is literally so close to campus) etc, I could go on and on. What more could a girl want?
This is a picture of me and the career fair a couple of days ago. BTW.
I'm pretty accustomed to the testing center now so I don't get the jitters as much as I did LAST semester. You could say I have officially 'acclimated' to the testing center. As for the weather, I'm still working on it haha. IT'S FREAKING COLD IN REXBURG. There, I said it. Haters don't hate. I feel like my poor face numbs as the wind blows and it literally kills me because they days I choose not to wear a scarf around my face are the days I end up suffering the most. (Who'da thought)
Anywho, it's pretty great with the snow and all so I can't complain too much. In all honesty it could be way worse, like, I could be in the Canadian wilderness right now with absolutely no way of finding a warm building to dethaw in. Or living in Siberia with a broken heater and a fat tiger to keep me warm. You never know!
There are times of course where I miss Bama and the rain, along with southern accents and cajun food (cajun fried rice is seriously THE BOMB.) I miss sitting outside working on my homework watching it sprinkle in a warm spring rain, and smelling the wild honeysuckle and blossoms of wildflowers after it happens. Going to the lake whenever I wanted, driving four hours to have a beach trip, etc.
But you know, there is something I have learned about living in different climates and regions of the United States, and the fact of the matter is, everywhere you go is beautiful and unique to its own climate. Idaho is...I am not going to lie...absolutely beautiful. It's not too humid, there are blue blue skies and rolling hills, fields, mountains, so you really get the best of both worlds if you're from a different place. Which is amazing!! I love Idaho and its unique landscape along with meeting Idahoans who seem pretty level headed (for the most part xD).
I am thankful I chose to come to school here, no matter what. Just like I LOVE the weather in California and the members, and investigators I met on my mission. It's stunning, beautiful, amazing, all of the above. I loved smelling the cactus blossoms after a desert rain (OH that is literally my favorite!!! I could go on and on about it!)
I'm just so in awe of this beautiful earth God created for us. I'm one thankful girl.
And on top of that, as someone who has struggled with my anxiety and depression, I do know that being peaceful and recognizing your blessings is a huge part of spiritual/mental healing. :) Gratitude is an antidote!! Just believe it and focus on what you can do to serve someone else.
"No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world." -Robin Williams
Just add your ideas and let everyone know that you're willing to make a change, because you can!!
Peace out everyone, much love,
Lauren
First off, don't judge me because I have not updated my blog in a LONG time. (Yeah. I'm one of those bloggers that you see every now and then, that chooses to pop up at random.) But hey, life has been going great and I've been up to so much lately with my studies! It's so cool and interesting, each day for me is like an awesome adventure.
I am still attending college at Brigham Young University Idaho as a web design major, living at cottonwood apartments near the edge of campus, and enjoying the the college life taking each day as it comes. Who said college couldn't be all it is cracked up to be? I have amazing roommates, a great ward, the coolest Bishop ever, (the Rexburg temple is literally so close to campus) etc, I could go on and on. What more could a girl want?
This is a picture of me and the career fair a couple of days ago. BTW.
I'm pretty accustomed to the testing center now so I don't get the jitters as much as I did LAST semester. You could say I have officially 'acclimated' to the testing center. As for the weather, I'm still working on it haha. IT'S FREAKING COLD IN REXBURG. There, I said it. Haters don't hate. I feel like my poor face numbs as the wind blows and it literally kills me because they days I choose not to wear a scarf around my face are the days I end up suffering the most. (Who'da thought)
Anywho, it's pretty great with the snow and all so I can't complain too much. In all honesty it could be way worse, like, I could be in the Canadian wilderness right now with absolutely no way of finding a warm building to dethaw in. Or living in Siberia with a broken heater and a fat tiger to keep me warm. You never know!
There are times of course where I miss Bama and the rain, along with southern accents and cajun food (cajun fried rice is seriously THE BOMB.) I miss sitting outside working on my homework watching it sprinkle in a warm spring rain, and smelling the wild honeysuckle and blossoms of wildflowers after it happens. Going to the lake whenever I wanted, driving four hours to have a beach trip, etc.
But you know, there is something I have learned about living in different climates and regions of the United States, and the fact of the matter is, everywhere you go is beautiful and unique to its own climate. Idaho is...I am not going to lie...absolutely beautiful. It's not too humid, there are blue blue skies and rolling hills, fields, mountains, so you really get the best of both worlds if you're from a different place. Which is amazing!! I love Idaho and its unique landscape along with meeting Idahoans who seem pretty level headed (for the most part xD).
I am thankful I chose to come to school here, no matter what. Just like I LOVE the weather in California and the members, and investigators I met on my mission. It's stunning, beautiful, amazing, all of the above. I loved smelling the cactus blossoms after a desert rain (OH that is literally my favorite!!! I could go on and on about it!)
I'm just so in awe of this beautiful earth God created for us. I'm one thankful girl.
And on top of that, as someone who has struggled with my anxiety and depression, I do know that being peaceful and recognizing your blessings is a huge part of spiritual/mental healing. :) Gratitude is an antidote!! Just believe it and focus on what you can do to serve someone else.
"No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world." -Robin Williams
Just add your ideas and let everyone know that you're willing to make a change, because you can!!
Peace out everyone, much love,
Lauren
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