I had a wonderful GNO yesterday that was quite frankly much needed. Before I left, my roomies and I partly watched Evan Almighty. Which ended up being SO FUNNY and let me tell you I haven't ever watched it until last night. Purely awesome. Then I was able to go to the Cocoa Bean just before going to The Cookie Place to get my sugar fix for a Friday night evening in Rexburg. Which ended up being worth it and pretty wonderful! I also got a few selfies. Woot woot!
So yeah! The week has gone by so extremely fast and it's surreal. You know you can't know what up feels like until you've been down. Just saying. Life is definitely a roller coaster and you sure as heck never know what is coming.
So yeah! The week has gone by so extremely fast and it's surreal. You know you can't know what up feels like until you've been down. Just saying. Life is definitely a roller coaster and you sure as heck never know what is coming.
But I will be honest with you, there was a point in my teenage years where I was extremely uncomfortable with taking 'selfies' when I was in 8th and 9th grade due to my horrible acne, my nose, even my eyebrows made me feel so self aware that I truly believed I was someone that needed a real makeover, or just to be born as someone that was 'beautiful'. I went to classes thinking how 'I wanted to be like the prettier girls in my school who just had everything together.' They had boyfriends, everyone seemed excited to be around them, and they just fit in to the square peg whereas I felt like I was a round circle. I felt happy despite these small wishes. I didn't worry about it too much. I was happy with the friends I had, the schoolwork I was assigned, and the clothes I dressed in.
Lauren always wore a t-shirt and jeans, ponytail up, and the watch around her wrist like nobody's business.
It was in 9th grade when I started longing for a boyfriend, and wondered what caused me to be guy repellent. "Dear Heavenly Father, Uhm all I want is a boy that could be my best friend and tell me how cute I am, even though I feel like I'm not. I know I'm too young to get married right now, but just let me have some attractive guy friends until I go on my mission. We wouldn't even date until I turn 16, but please just let me find a guy already." I kid you not, those were seriously my prayers. WOW. Can you imagine what HF is thinking as I pray? Of course He loves and listens, but the me now is thinking he's probably chuckling, "Oh Lauren."
Lauren always wore a t-shirt and jeans, ponytail up, and the watch around her wrist like nobody's business.
It was in 9th grade when I started longing for a boyfriend, and wondered what caused me to be guy repellent. "Dear Heavenly Father, Uhm all I want is a boy that could be my best friend and tell me how cute I am, even though I feel like I'm not. I know I'm too young to get married right now, but just let me have some attractive guy friends until I go on my mission. We wouldn't even date until I turn 16, but please just let me find a guy already." I kid you not, those were seriously my prayers. WOW. Can you imagine what HF is thinking as I pray? Of course He loves and listens, but the me now is thinking he's probably chuckling, "Oh Lauren."
I participated in a lot of extra activities in high school but there were some days where I just felt completely isolated, alone and low. I loved my best friends, Katelyn Toney, Rachel Marcum and other friends who kept me sane during this time. (They still do!!! Love them to pieces <3) but this self comparison and having crushes that I couldn't even talk to was starting to make me want to be a better person. I finally decided to change at the start of 10th grade and I began enjoying my life more, without trying to worry so much about boys.
Young Women's was my rock as I participated in church activities, and all of my leaders helped me to recognize that I really was beautiful, talented and amazing!
You know, it is really okay those things. (Shocker.) You are a miracle! A living miracle. You were created inside your mother's womb and started out about the size of less then a pin point, and from there, grew and grew until you are who you are today. You continue to change. Your body is working hard day and night, keeping you alive by the air you breath, and the blood you pump. Think about it. It's truly amazing. You're a miracle!
Young Women's was my rock as I participated in church activities, and all of my leaders helped me to recognize that I really was beautiful, talented and amazing!
You know, it is really okay those things. (Shocker.) You are a miracle! A living miracle. You were created inside your mother's womb and started out about the size of less then a pin point, and from there, grew and grew until you are who you are today. You continue to change. Your body is working hard day and night, keeping you alive by the air you breath, and the blood you pump. Think about it. It's truly amazing. You're a miracle!
Anyway, as I continued in school and had bouts of depression and feeling alone, the one thing that always stuck with me is knowing Christ and my Heavenly Father, because they saw me for who I really was. I listened to LDS EFY songs in the car on the way home from school. I read my scriptures more and more, and worked on personal progress to the point where it became a joy to have time set aside for personal spiritual growth.
I was focused. I also focused on my dream of becoming a marine biologist and had my life all planned out about how I would work, get married, have a family and dedicate my life to the gospel. I decided I would serve a mission, but then afterwards I would marry a cute spiritual RM and we would travel together, and I would swim with dolphins. Hey now!! Don't judge!! A 14 year old girl's dreams are fierce, and she will not give up. Don't be a dream crusher, ever.
I was focused. I also focused on my dream of becoming a marine biologist and had my life all planned out about how I would work, get married, have a family and dedicate my life to the gospel. I decided I would serve a mission, but then afterwards I would marry a cute spiritual RM and we would travel together, and I would swim with dolphins. Hey now!! Don't judge!! A 14 year old girl's dreams are fierce, and she will not give up. Don't be a dream crusher, ever.
Of course, trials came and I got beat down because being 15 years old is NOT easy, I don't care how rosy someone may have had it, no one gets through adolescense that easy. I still was heavily involved in church and dating lots of people so we would go on dates and I'd try to see if I could find a guy that I thought was nice so I could make him my "missionary" to write while he served a missionary. That's the real goal I had, guys!! XD.
Well, I found one, a friend boy, because I didn't believe in having boyfriends. (Yes, this was my 16 year old brain) Long story short we became best of friends and he helped me SO much my senior year of high school. I thanked God for him and his friendship and support because we cared about each other and always discussed our plans to follow the gospel and the goals and hopes we had for the future. I will never forget him. He is married now and has an adorable little girl, but I'm so thankful we could get to know each other and become such great friends.
I knew he would make a wonderful husband for his wife someday, even though I got the feeling we wouldn't marry. But hey!! Everyone you meet has a purpose in your life, so the key is to take what you've learned from them and let it add to your life.
When he left for his mission, I got another boyfriend soon after that. Honestly, one of the best boyfriends I ever had because he genuinely cared about my well being and would pick me up driving an hour to my home in Cullman, to take me to the Huntsville Stake Center every Thursday for institute while I was attending my first year of college and he never missed a week!! His sister was one of my best friends, and along with his younger brother, and we got pretty close. Matt Garbett ended up being my first kiss. And he knows it. I thought of marrying him... but as I struggled with my surgery later that semester, along with feeling insecure and a bit misled we ended the relationship and I was really sad. I was pretty devastated because each day hurt, but I knew I was preparing to serve a mission and wanted to be distraction free.
We remained good friends and I dated two other boys before leaving to SoCal. (Ben and Ammon) and I will forever be thankful for those dating experiences too! Another one of my best friends (Robin Jensen) and I had gotten close because we did BYUI online classes together through pathway to get BYU Idaho credit for taking religion classes. I was still going to Wallace State Community, but I felt like I should apply for other colleges after my mission, and thus I applied to University of Utah (got accepted), Dixie State, Snow College, and Utah State. I wasn't sure where the Lord wanted me to go so I prayed about it. Long story short, I served as a ward missionary in Cullman then shortly headed out on my mission to Southern California. Amazing amazing experience. If you're thinking about serving a mission? DO IT. You will never regret that decision. Then I felt like BYU IDAHO was my answer, while on my mission (crazy how that works). So here I am. :) And I love it!!
Well, I found one, a friend boy, because I didn't believe in having boyfriends. (Yes, this was my 16 year old brain) Long story short we became best of friends and he helped me SO much my senior year of high school. I thanked God for him and his friendship and support because we cared about each other and always discussed our plans to follow the gospel and the goals and hopes we had for the future. I will never forget him. He is married now and has an adorable little girl, but I'm so thankful we could get to know each other and become such great friends.
I knew he would make a wonderful husband for his wife someday, even though I got the feeling we wouldn't marry. But hey!! Everyone you meet has a purpose in your life, so the key is to take what you've learned from them and let it add to your life.
When he left for his mission, I got another boyfriend soon after that. Honestly, one of the best boyfriends I ever had because he genuinely cared about my well being and would pick me up driving an hour to my home in Cullman, to take me to the Huntsville Stake Center every Thursday for institute while I was attending my first year of college and he never missed a week!! His sister was one of my best friends, and along with his younger brother, and we got pretty close. Matt Garbett ended up being my first kiss. And he knows it. I thought of marrying him... but as I struggled with my surgery later that semester, along with feeling insecure and a bit misled we ended the relationship and I was really sad. I was pretty devastated because each day hurt, but I knew I was preparing to serve a mission and wanted to be distraction free.
We remained good friends and I dated two other boys before leaving to SoCal. (Ben and Ammon) and I will forever be thankful for those dating experiences too! Another one of my best friends (Robin Jensen) and I had gotten close because we did BYUI online classes together through pathway to get BYU Idaho credit for taking religion classes. I was still going to Wallace State Community, but I felt like I should apply for other colleges after my mission, and thus I applied to University of Utah (got accepted), Dixie State, Snow College, and Utah State. I wasn't sure where the Lord wanted me to go so I prayed about it. Long story short, I served as a ward missionary in Cullman then shortly headed out on my mission to Southern California. Amazing amazing experience. If you're thinking about serving a mission? DO IT. You will never regret that decision. Then I felt like BYU IDAHO was my answer, while on my mission (crazy how that works). So here I am. :) And I love it!!
WHEN YOU FEEL HAPPY, JUST SING
When you feel content, ponder
When you feel crazy, Laugh Out Loud,
When you feel sad, pray and cry at the same time, it feels amazing
When you feel energetic, RUN, just run
But above all, when you feel like you need to serve or reach out to someone, do it
I know I'm not the most profound or amazing poet in the universe, but contributing to something awesome always feels nice. It feels good. No better than good, it feels AMAZING. So you do you, and just be yourself! Don't let naysayers make you feel any other way because you know, they can't take your personality, or your feelings away from you. You belong to you.
As I've been getting to know so many people, it has come across my mind that so many women and girls (especially young adult ones like I) struggle with seeing themselves as BEAUTIFUL daughters of God. They compare themselves to someone else who may be going through a different trial (for instance, being pencil stick skinny, not being not the ideal weight you want to be, or even being overweight) and wanting to change themselves. All I know that being healthy is more important than being someone you are not. Don't try to change yourself. Of course you should strive to be your best self and take care of yourself (wear makeup, wear decent clothing, bathe, etc) because as you develop who you are, people will see your beauty. Even...if for the time being you cannot see it in yourself.
Pray to know yourself. Pray to feel your worth as a Daughter of God, and I promise you, He will tell you how beautiful you really are, inside and out, no matter what you have done. Listen to the spirit and follow the promptings because I know our Heavenly Father wants what is best for you, right now, this very moment. Don't fall short.
"Life is too beautiful to take it for granted." So don't. When you are doubting your beauty, remember that as a Daughter of God, you are of a royal birthright. A princess in training to be a queen!! One day, you will gain an eternal crown of glory as you live worthy of those promised blessings and remember your Father, and His Son. No matter what the adversary may try to throw at you, don't let him thwart your eternal destiny. Look in the mirror and remind yourself who you are.
I love the story of the ugly duckling as told by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf because it teaches us the pure message of being majestic swans, even when we feel like 'ugly ducklings' and not worth it to try and make another day. Feeling anxious about relationships, or feeling depressed and overwhelmed about stresses in life, is something HF doesn't want us to suffer through. He will carry you. He will pick you up and place you upon His shoulders. You are precious to Him and precious in His sight. Lay your burdens down and let Him know how you are feeling. I testify to you that the power of Christ's atonement is real and the healing power which comes through grace and mercy, can mend your wounded heart, mind and soul. Trust Jesus. Don't doubt, but be believing! I love you all. Each and every one of you is a beautiful Son or Daughter of God. Please believe in yourselves and allow the Master to heal you through His great infinite love.
I love the story of the ugly duckling as told by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf because it teaches us the pure message of being majestic swans, even when we feel like 'ugly ducklings' and not worth it to try and make another day. Feeling anxious about relationships, or feeling depressed and overwhelmed about stresses in life, is something HF doesn't want us to suffer through. He will carry you. He will pick you up and place you upon His shoulders. You are precious to Him and precious in His sight. Lay your burdens down and let Him know how you are feeling. I testify to you that the power of Christ's atonement is real and the healing power which comes through grace and mercy, can mend your wounded heart, mind and soul. Trust Jesus. Don't doubt, but be believing! I love you all. Each and every one of you is a beautiful Son or Daughter of God. Please believe in yourselves and allow the Master to heal you through His great infinite love.
Also, don't be afraid to sing something positive at the top of your lungs. We got this!
Much love as always,
Lauren
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