So it has been a hot minute (And more) since I have updated my blog post in awhile and to tell you  I have been dealing with a lot of emotional struggles lately. I have hit a weird serious lack of motivation.It sucks. THANKFULLY I have been meeting with a mental health counselor and guess what?

I have an actual mental condition called BURNOUT. Before you laugh and start rolling your eyes this has been a serious thing in my life. Hallmarks include extreme fatigue, it overwhelms cognitive and neurological functions, along with affecting neuroendocrine systems, loss of passion, intense cynicism. It is much like depression except worse because it asphyxiates your AMBITION.

 Drive is essential to getting things done, big or small. Without a reason, you won't do anything. It messes with your sense of worth. Reason?

I hardly go into detail but previous occupational stress and trauma. That's it. As a once enthusiastic software editor, digital media designer, I went to BYU Idaho after I decided I would go into health science and I saw myself as a future nurse. I had spent an amazing time in California after my mission and learned to surf, while making a whole bunch of unforgettable memories. I suddenly thought I could get into working for Amazon sales (which is WAY harder than you'd think people.) for myself after working for a friend, but that ended up not working out because I simply did not have the time or the resource to start. I learned a lot about the power in marketing and graphic design. Technology is everywhere and when you open your eyes to see how much of a difference you can make in the world by putting a product or service out there, you grow. 

Hard times suddenly happened and I found myself struggling as a new student at BYU Idaho. I was half assing EASY classes. I began dating and found myself caught inbetween two men and wondering who I should allow the chance to date me. Anyways, one was off in training for the coast guard I had met in Murrieta YSA ward and the other happened to be someone I met on campus in the BYU-I ROTC. (I get it, I like military guys) Anyway I allowed both relationships to thrive (they knew this) and declared myself single because I was unsure about entering in a relationship at that time. I tried to focus my thoughts on other things and got involved with activities in school. I liked the idea of getting married but I also wanted to figure out who I was. SO much of me had been lost in the giving my heart to my high school crush, that I started to see more clearly how I was trying to make a relationship happen that may not have been right. I learned that lesson and it cut deep, which gave me the feelings I needed. Painful experiences have shaped me. The relationship with Joseph ended and I started getting to know Kevin more. I wanted to marry him and prayed daily for strength to be strong with him being far away. But along with those new feelings came fear and anxiety. I wasn't ready to be a wife yet.  

I longed to throw myself into something that I could be proud of.

 College seemed like the way to do that and so I began my journey. I never particularly thought of myself as someone super studious, but my desire to learn was so high. I loved sciences, history, language, and most subjects I studied became a part of me. I took entry design classes, I learned more about photography. In the health spectrum I envisioned myself becoming a labour and delivery nurse because I have always had this obsession with birth, mams and helping babies (so much of why I can't wait to be a mother myself) I thought half heartedly maybe I'll keep studying and become an OB-GYN just so I could fulfill my life dream. Of course with every dream there are obstacles. My ADHD and anxiety got in the way, but I did my best to work around the pressure. I started this at Wallace State Community College before my mission and overall the experience was good. The more I learned, the more I reconsidered my choice of becoming a nurse. Could I really handle some of the things I would have to deal with?? Why was I so sensitive around blood more than I anticipated. I became mad that there might be something wrong with me. Why couldn't I handle it? I decided that I am who I am. I am me and I love being me. I paused my education and served 18 months for my church. I came back and applied and got accepted to the University.

   After working in caregiving/volunteering/medical environments it literally became too much for me to handle. Why?? I asked myself this everyday. There are so many doctors, nurses, medical professionals who deal with crisis on a daily basis and though they may have a hard time, they aren't mentally deranged from it. What in me is so broken that requires this fear to creep up inside of me and cause me to fear the strangest things. Driving in my  car, for example. The fragility of life became so clear to me and I began to wonder when my time would be up? What plans does God have in my life and would I be able to accept an outcome, any outcome? I still held onto my belief in Christ and my faith. If I am taken before the time I believe is my time, I've grown to know that God will provide for my happiness and well being. I longed for a husband and family more than anything. I prayed for that wish in my heart and prayed to the Lord to calm my fears. Being sealed in the temple is the ultimate goal. I know that faith can get me through anything, and it really has. After a lot of those hard experiences in Rexburg, I needed time to refocus and HEAL. I was trying to do too much, be too much, work too much and it took a toll on my mental health. I just needed to be. Me.

What about Mandt training and dealing with behavioral issues in a job I had caused me to have panic attacks myself while I was working for a company that supervised 24 disabled individuals, I asked myself this recently. Truth be told I hardly have talked about some of the very scary and hurtful experiences that occurred in that job because I was afraid talking about them would make me feel vulnerable. It was HARD. Any of my coworkers could tell you too!

You know, I am going to be vague here because I don't want to share confidential information for the previous employment positions, but after speaking with my therapist I really see why this has affected me so greatly. When you have someone try to launch themselves at you on the job, or end up locking yourself in a closet due to them screaming and throwing things with a behavior wildly out of control, or someone manipulative wanting more medications than they should have or someone obsessed with calling the ambulance everyday and you literally have to prevent them from having or going around asking for a phone to use, it kinda wears on you. I eventually left that job after the rendezvous with Mark and gave myself a fresh start. I left BYU Idaho and went straight down to Provo! What a fresh change.I got a job at Red Mountain Floral and being around bouquets and arrangements was healing for my soul.

I am super in Yoga now and that has been an amazing therapeutic relief for me. I continue to have small daily goals and even now when I have days of fear, and doubt, I think about God and how he has guided me this far. 

I am overcoming the #burnout and hope to start classes again soon. I do know God wants me to be a mother so my focus has shifted. I am searching for career that will help me be there for my baby. I'm so excited and can hardly wait, but I am getting my health great before preparing to conceive. I probably have asked my husband for a baby everyday, but it will come in God's timing. Hopefully next year!! I pray!!

The Week!

Hello everyone!

(P.S. This post was written in 2018 😂😂 I am just now posting it so sorry it's super old.)

It has been a wonderful week and I have to admit, it sure has gone by fast. Lots of gardening, cooking, working to clean and help my family sell kitchen appliances.

Nothing in life is too hard because,. rocks are hard. Life is flowing. Geology is great too don't you know. Good thing I have a fun rock collection. :)

College, study, learning, joy and many great happenings in life help me realize I need to contribute more! I thought of sharing my art projects from the Etsy I made, or letting you have a tutorial on sewing aprons for the heck of it. Now I don't call myself a seamstress by any means, but sewing makes me giddy!!

I still have a friendship quilt made in Young Women's a few years ago and it is the best fun ever to get special pieces of fabric meaningful to each friend and have them initial it with their favorite scripture and sign it! Each of our squares remind me of my friends and I can snuggle the blanket to feel warm and cozy. It's like a hug. :) If you would like me to post a tutorial for quilting, hand stitches, and basic principles of using a sewing machine I still can! Check out my you tube channel if you would like!!

Besides my smaller creations, I also stitched a patchwork teddy bear I'm quite proud of. He is cuddly too. Great for a friend.

I can nerd out about sewing ALL DAY! A goal I have for my future family is to create baby clothes, make my children matching Easter Sunday attire, and have fun moments where I can create them something for Halloween, school plays, or simply to dress up. That is why I love it (sew much!;) and the more I practice the better I become.

I was planning to share and upload my project ideas, but due to a shortening on time today, I must simply upload it later! Sorry😴, I hope you understand. It has been quite hectic with our parents trying to downsize our home. Where they plan to move to I have no idea.

Sew you see, I hope this post makes you happy. :)

Love,
L

Coming back from the hiatus

Good Evening!!!!

Okay, I am back. After (a six month hiatus) I am ready to add another post which has been dying to share itself with the rest of the world. Clever? Not so clever? So amidst the sudden COVID-19 a lot has been changing recently. What started out as an outbreak in China soon spread elsewhere and many other countries are suffering at this time. Italy is currently in my prayers, along with our nation, as I understand we must take the necessary precautions to keep each other safe as we fight this illness. We are not alone and this time may be a great time for reflection, spending more time with family, and focusing on the things that really matter. In a way, it puts so much into perspective! All of the sudden trivial things don't seem as important and that is really what we should take away from all this as it has been happening.

With my work as a florist for Publix (yes I got a job at Red Mountain this summer and started really getting into the flower industry) things have gotten slow and I was laid off the job due to a sudden halt. Of course it has been discouraging, but I am deciding it is not going to being me down today. There is a lot to learn! I wish to take every moment and opportunity to share joy with others and focus on the most important things we have! The Lord has blessed me so much and I can't wait for the learning moments He has planned. For me.
Another blessing right now includes Amazon work and doing a lot with that. It's incredible honestly. I'm thankful for the people in my life who teach me the ins and outs of this business! It's a great way for a side income.

I truly believe and know that our Father in Heaven is merciful, loving, and will be with us ESPECIALLY during the hardest times. He is working for us. Do not ever doubt that. Of course it can be hard to see the silver lining when we tend to focus on the dark clouds above us, but don't forget why we came to this Earth in the first place. We came here to experience mortality. To go through the valley of shadows. Suffering and sorrow is a part of the courses of life, and to fully understand joy, we need these humble teaching moments. As I am writing this now, I'd like to invite you to ponder on this question: Am I teachable? How can I better invite the hard times I experience to teach me a principle I should learn?

Okay, I get it. Moments that really stretch and pull us during times of weakness can be a lot harder to handle than we may expect. This is a time where you have to "grab life by the horns" and do what it takes to do one thing at a time. Start small and don't overwhelm yourself! Too many of us lay expectations on ourselves, only to feel disappointed we didn't achieve everything the way it was planned. Now don't misunderstand, because I am not saying do not have expectations...I am just saying be KIND to yourself. Treat the person in the mirror how you would treat your best friend. You listen, you give benefit of the doubt, but most importantly you forgive. We are human. We make mistakes and have so many imperfections, but that shouldn't be the reason we slow down! Get up after you fall down from your bicycle!

Hopefully those words ring in positive and it'll make someone happy today!

Anywho, I also wanted to share with you my excitement about starting and documenting my vegatable garden this year :)

I have cabbage, corn, garden beans, sunflower, tomato and jalepeno peppers going on right now. Planted them a few days before a giant surprise of rain.



I can upload pictures soon too.

You know, soil and composting really makes a garden amazing because the essential nutrients your cute little baby seedling craves, is actually not so different from us. Water, and sunshine are vital for our health as well, you know.

It is incredible how we connect to the food chain. Nature provides and the Lord has given us supplement of bounty.

Do you have a favorite veggie? My all-time favorite vegatable to grow is a bright red big boy tomato. The smell, the texture of the leaves, even the way a tomato plant blooms is amazing and captivating. Plants are not so different from us in a spiritual sense! As we nurture the seedlings of faith, testimony, good works, making good choices, service and many other attributes, we will come to find that with a little daily TLC and good attitude, our attributes will grow far more swiftly and greatly than we might have hoped.

I really feel that what we give, is given to us in return.

What we become, will not only benefit ourselves.

Whenever you feel discouraged and your heart is in despair, look up and know that God is there!

He may surround you with gifts from above.

With angels, with guidance, and a blessing of love.

Know this, my child, all things are for thy good.

 To hurt and to heal, to grow, to be understood.

Don't let fear hold you back. Don't let sadness drag you down!!

Well I believe that's all for now, folks. Carry on and have a wonderous day!

Bama Livin

AND she's back in Alabama! Wow that went by a bit too fast. I decided to come home and do school online for awhile to save up some cash and help my parents out, so I'm looking forward to what will happen. My internship is going to be great, I'm super pumped up for it.

Of course being home doesn't come without its struggles (for instance) what do you do when your car's radiator goes out? Luckily my dad has had a lot of experience with people who fix cars and fixes cars himself (woo, Dad saves the day again) so he is going to help me find a new engine. The radiator burnt everything inside. So that is that. But hey on to a better note, I am helping out a lot at home, while recovering and preparing for another surgery as my biopsy went well. Nothing was cancerous, and the mass inside my deidum (not sure how to pronounce it) is shrinking as I heal so I am thankful for that!! This is not the first biopsy I've had! I had a mole biopsy done in 2014 because they were worried about it being melanoma. It is better to be safe than sorry. I'm thankful for Doctors and Nurses.

Of course if you panic and think things in your head, it's easy to lose focus and become overwhelmed. I am healing more and I know my ulcers and having Crohns is difficult but I am taking care of myself better and realizing how much God really does love me.

Okay so anyway, I've been back in Bama and I've had fun exploring the woods outside, along with growing my garden and taking care of animals.

My neighbors have cows, and people around have different crops growing. Country life is cool, I appreciate it. It's crazy to be back after being away from home for so long. It's special here though. I love being with my family and friends.

;) Pics coming soon!

Food for thought

Today I am speaking out about depression, because this is something that literally causes your body physical, mental and emotional pain. It HURTS. Survivors of this horrible illness know hard each day can be. Bipolar Disorder, MDD (Maniac Depressive Disorder) and other illnesses are very real illnesses which cause symptoms that can be debilitating if you don't find the proper help for it. For those of you who are suffering with this, please know you aren't alone. You can FIGHT. :) And you can WIN. You are more than what you feel.

Often certain medications can make people feel undervalued, or experience painful symptoms worse from when they actually received the diagnosis. Though many medications have powerful affects, it's important to know which works best, and is right, for your body. Many natural therapy based aids can help so wonderfully. It does take a bit of research, but once you find out about the sources and resources you have, what are you waiting for?

DEPRESSION SUCKS. Okay. I'm not going to be one of those rosy posy, sugar coaters. I'm going to give you the blunt hard truth. IT'S HARD. But you can handle it. You have much more capabilities and strengths than you probably know.

Of course we all have moments of sadness and occasional grief...hurt is a part of life. A loved one dies, a divorce happens, someone gets hurt, goals and dreams are lost. These can cause incredible real pain too. But normally, after a period of grief, you can usually find ways to heal emotionally. That is what is incredible about our bodies...but with depression your brain chemistry doesn't allow you to feel healing. Your body chemistry doesn't allow you to feel normal.

That's why taking a stand to supoprt someone with this terrible awful delimma is something great you could do for them. Trust me, they will really appreciate it.

We need a world more full of random visits, phone calls, notes and letters, and genuine caring for another individual. Because when it's all said and done, that is a celestial life. God expects us to LIVE his higher laws. :) And when we do, we become who we need to be one good deed at a time. Let God work miracles in your life. Allow him to change you. Let Him comfort you, and heal your pains. I know for a fact that a loving God is waiting, and wanting to bless His children that ask for it. Pray!
Pray like you mean it and God will continue to supplement your life in ways you thought were not possible.

Keep on keepin on folks, life is a great ride and we need to enjoy every moment.

Have a great day, reach out to someone, and press on!!

Love,
L

Peace

Dear Young Me

Dear younger me,

What I WISH I would have known as an 18 year old sweetheart filled with excitement, longing and questions.

You, are beautiful.

Everyone loves you just the way you are. You experience new emotions, new 'crushes' and this is something quite new as you embark from your high school life to begin college. Of course, (speaking to my younger self) you had people you crushed on and liked during high school, but never had a tangible relationship. You wished for one. Oh, how nice it would be to have a boy there to finally become your best friend, and hold your hand. You dreamed of a temple marriage and longed for it. You attended mutual and tried to be the best friend to others you could possibly be (even if, sometimes you were not. But that is another story.) You study, you run, you make time for your family. You attend seminary and enjoy seeing the early morning fog, despite how tired you might've felt.

Enjoy the little things.

It may seem silly, but enjoy every minute. Even the painful minutes, the joyful minutes, the minutes of spiritual learning and growth. You are divine. DO your best and God WILL do the rest. I promise.

Everything is okay. It IS working out and will work out, though it may seem like "IT'S REALLY NOT!!" You will be happy. :)

Relax and don't stress, if a boy breaks your heart, breathe, sigh, cry a few tears perhaps, then let it out. Wanna know why? Because there is something more exciting, fulfilling, and magical ahead. You just need to be patient, and not just 'endure' but find enjoyment to life. Discover a new hobby and use a new talent. Enjoy life as a daughter of God.

READ YOUR SCRIPTURES. EVERY DAY. Ask yourself, "What would Moroni do in this situation? How would Nephi respond? What would Jesus do? How can I become more like Christ, and my Book of Mormon Heroes?

WRITE it down. Keep a journal. Remember these experiences. You will not want to forget them. I love writing in my journal because it really becomes a great therapy.

I had an amazing experience when I first began college being 18, and it was my first official calling outside of young women's that I'd ever had. A ward missionary. I was full of excitement to help the elders and sisters in our ward while beaming from ear to ear. I was ready and so willing to enjoy each moment as I prepared for the mission I longed to serve. Two amazing sister missionaries really stepped up to the plate and help me fulfill my ward missionary calling, Sister Harris and Sister Pratt. I am so so thankful for them! You have no idea. It was incredible the time I had with them and the experiences we had. I was reading the Book of Mormon, cover to cover for another time and realized the reality of these Book of Mormon prophets. I could see Nephi and Moroni helping us find people, and the scriptures become REAL.

I realized the Reality of the Holy Ghost. I imagined him being my friend. I talked to him and he comforted me. I told him about this boy that had broken my heart during my senior year of highschool and I had a truly incredible spiritual experience. I really had a beautiful experience too sacred to share, that I will forever cherish in my heart.

 I prayed to Heavenly Father to thank Him for this experience and I remember the Holy Ghost loudly telling me, as if he were standing right next to me. "Serve a mission."

WOW. What a voice that was powerful and pierced my heart to the very core. I knew what I had to do from that moment on. I met with my bishop the NEXT DAY. I felt a tinge of joy at that moment. He comforted me, like a real friend. "You will be a great missionary!" My relationship with him has really led me to do things in my life I believed I could not do. Seek the comforter because the promise is real.

 I cancelled my plans to attend University of Alabama (Yeah. Lauren Middleton giving up her 'dream college') as I had been attending Wallace State CC and put in my mission papers. WHAT? I had not planned on this at all.

 In fact, it was so far from my plans I had a 180 degree turn around moment. I wanted to be married so badly, that I figured marriage and finding my spouse was my mission because my patriarchal blessing did not mention serving a mission.

To all you boys, kudos for you as it is expected to serve a mission. You know what God wants you to do.

 Being a girl on the other hand isn't so easy. I don't care who you are. The age change is RECENT and every girl must decide for herself if she really knows the Lord needs her to serve a mission or not. For her, it is a personal CHOICE. And let me tell you, it isn't easy to hear the spirit tell you what you do not want to hear. Instead of hearing "Yes, you will find your eternal companion and marry him in a few months, I heard...You will serve a mission and you will love it, it will be one of the most enriching experiences of your life." I wanted to show how much I was willing to participate in God's plan.

I was dating a boy that had my heart at the time, and breaking up with him seemed so impossible. I prayed fervently. Asking HF how I could do this, and how I could go on a mission when I was at a moment of marriage that was so close, but about a few weeks before my mission call came, the Lord heard my prayer and answered it for me, as my boyfriend (at the time) had the courage to follow a prompting and break up with me. What a relief! The spirit had been telling me I was going to end it, but I didn't know how. Luckily this guy knew how to follow the spirit. It was hard, but he was a blessing in my life and I am thankful for the friendship we had.

"BUT GOD...THAT IS NOT WHAT I HAD IN MIND FOR MY LIFE..." Call me nilly willy silly, but upon hearing the prompting physically, I cried. Tears of motivation, a little bit of sadness, and acceptance. Why? I asked. But afterwords and two days of heartache, I woke up one morning with an incredible peace and excitement that was beyond words. It was the calmest peace...I felt the love of God. God knew me. God loved me. Christ was very near. I was so excited for this adventure that lay ahead.

I cannot begin to tell you how much a mission has changed me forever. It was a blessing I cannot even imagine living without. I know it isn't the same for everyone, but my loving Heavenly Father knew I absolutely needed to serve a mission because it would change my spirit, literally. I have a firm testimony that God lives and will give you the absolute best in your life, even when you feel like you don't deserve it. Think of the scripture in the new testament where Christ talks about parents giving gifts to their children, and How Heavenly Father, being perfect, will he not give good gifts unto them that ask him?

Also in the Book of Mormon it is true that Mormon testifies of seeking Christ and how He will provide every good gift. EVERY GOOD GIFT. Think about what that means. :) Eternal happiness. He wants to make you whole, and he will provide a way for you to keep the commandments. 1 Nephi 3:7, and hey, creating a harmonious family and marriage is a commandment. He will provide the way. I testify. You may have trials, and you may go through the rocks and down a few bends, but as you allow the Lord to take you by the hand and lead you little by little, one day at a time, with the scriptures, your patriarchal blessing, callings, and doing good, you will one day be able to stand on top of the mountain with Christ and look back on the incredible beautiful journey you had together. You will see footsteps in the sand and know that Christ carried you many times.

He loves you and His love is so real. You may not think anyone cares, or that the world is full of blind people that don't notice you, but God notices you, and he places people into your life that notice you as well. You will have hard times and struggles, but the struggle up the tallest mountain is worth the fight.

You may climb the Timp, or the Y mountain, or you may find yourself climbing Everest, Cape of Good Hope, or Mt Kilamanjaro. The higher the climb, the harder the climb, but God is your Mountaineer!!! He will be with you every step, so go ahead and climb your Everest. The view will be incredible and the journey will change you forever. <3 God is amazing.

Dear younger me, lastly, I would say, and I want to say this to every young girl and woman facing the struggle of feeling her worth and recognizing it...God has a special place in His heart for His daughters.
He loves His sons dearly, but we women sometimes don't realize the magnitude of care our Heavenly Father has for us as a Daughter of God.

You are divine. You have beauty and purpose, and you are a miracle destined to do great things. Let the holy ghost, Our Savior and our Heavenly Father become your best friends. Pray to HF everyday and ask that the spirit will enlighten your mind and soften your heart. He so will.

The battle isn't over. You're going to have challenges climbing your mountain, but have faith in every single footstep. Your pioneer ancestors crossed the plains in brutal conditions to find and build Zion. Carry on their legacy through your personal faith, and dedication to creating Zion in your homes, and in your hearts. Become of one mind, and of one heart. :) I really know the gospel is true. My life is so much happier and blessed because of it and no one can tell me otherwise.

There is a beautiful pasture which glows form heav'n above
A place where hearts and families find love
We may not see them standing nearby, our loved ones, who have gone
homeward to fly. They watch us, help us, and stand by us each day,
Knowing our Savior will lovingly provide the way.
So if you're feeling lost, helpless, or hopeless...it's true
Christ will come swiftly to your rescue, but realize this
my dear friend, angels and concourses from your Father are sent
He loves you this much, believe me, it's true,
There isn't a thing he would not do...
When you realize how much greatly you're loved
a tear will be shed
and light will glisten beautifully,
from your heavenly home above. <3

I love poetry and feeling like I should write out my loving feelings on families and the plan of salvation, I decided to.

I hope you all press forward and realize how wonderful you really are! <3 God has high hopes for each of you. Don't let him down. You are more than you think.

Peace,
Your sister in Christ,

Lauren

Journeyings and Faith

Dear Reader,

Once there was a man who was walking a great distance. He stopped, looked behind him and realized how far he'd traveled. He looked ahead to see how much farther he had to go, and all the while, a friend stood by his side and asked him which seemed the farthest from his viewpoint.

"Well, they both look like the same distance to me! It just seems that the journey ahead is quite long compared to what is behind me." He chuckled, with a wry smile.

"When you discover part of the journey is also the contemplation, joyful moments, moments of pause and despair, planning, and arriving at your destination, and being at your destination, you will realize it is not quite as long after all."

"So...you are saying..?"

"I'm saying, don't focus on, particularly, the journey and the length, but rather focus on the small accomplishments in between. Focus on why you are making the journey, and when you figure that out, you will realize the grandeur of each moment."

Life is too short, to not enjoy EVERY part!! You are probably thinking, so what is this girl trying to tell me...? Am I supposed to enjoy heartbreak? Well actually, yes. If you think about it, heartache can be quite enjoyable. You realize your vulnerabilities, your prestige, worth, and the importance of knowing pain so you'll recognize true joy when you are blessed. I am feeling something right now. Because God endowed me with a gift. Something that I will forever have. A gift of empathy, love, joy, and many more emotions that color our lives.

Finding joy during pain can mostly be often difficult, but Christ has said multiple times, "Fear not! I have overcome the world. Let not your heart be troubled. Have faith. Be believing. Perfect love dissapates fear and we need to know that Christ is on our side, right now. He is cheering for us, and leading us to our victory march! We only need to trust Him and place our burdens at His feet. We need to realize our great worth, and potential as Sons and Daughters of God. Of course, when life doesn't go the way you hoped, or planned, you can know that as part of the process you are learning and that minor discomforts are necessary as we go through the human experience.

Which I, personally, am so thankful for. I don't really have the words to completely say how I feel, but I want to enjoy life to the fullest and follow the spirit as best I can. After all, it's only the best we can do.

God and Christ pick up the pieces. And they do it, quite well. So really you don't have anything to fear, and be afraid of. As you await the beautiful tapestry of your life, know that you are free to choose your own path! Nothing is set in stone :) our lives are really open ended books, with ability to change the outcome for the better. So let Heavenly Father help you! He knows what story of your life will be best. Trust the master author!

I seriously am super thankful for all I have been so blessed with. Life is beautiful folks. I hope you have a seriously great Sunday evening and continue to enjoy the everyday moments! Take time and thank your Father in Heaven. Keep a gratitude journal. Write your thoughts and feelings out and I promise the Lord will show you the puzzle pieces of your life. He has totally done that for me. After tears being shed, prayers and pondering, wondering which direciton He wants me to take in my life, I got an answer loud and clear, and I am sticking to it. NEVER. GIVE. UP. Follow your heart, trust the feelings God has given you, and work towards your goals!! It's so amazing. Heavenly Father lets us CHOOSE our destiny.

"Choose you this day whom ye will serve, but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord." Joshua 1:5

"Choose your love, love your choice." :)

"Wherefore, man are free to choose the way of eternal life, or death"

I could list many scriptures that share this principle, but the Lord has shown me great tender mercies and it really hit me as I was studying earlier, that everyone has their own personal agency, and because of this great gift, you can be the captain of your own ship, the painter of your life's portrait, and the author of your story...you only need to Trust the one who is all knowing, and He will lead you to life and happiness beyond what you could ever imagine. The gospel is literally amazing.

Christ is so kind. He is gentle, loving and will never abandon us during trials. Heavenly Father is merciful and promises us aid, as we rely on Him and Christ.

We have the scriptures, our families, friends, church leaders, and so many blessings that allow us to see the bigger picture. The Holy Ghost can be our guide, and friend! :)

So there you have it. Just do your best and allow God to fill up the rest.

Have a great day, love you all <3

Lauren